May 10, 2009

this is what it means to say goodbye

been in Tanzania for a week since returning from kenya. seeing all my wonderful people, added an extra trip to iringa to visit liv hoversten and see a new place and the life of a peace corps volunteer- it's been wonderful.

thoughts on leaving, which is thursday: my inability to detach heart and mind and voice from this place. from the people. i wake up at 4 am with impossible yet probable dreams of a future life's work here. i'm so looking forward to beautiful faces and salads awaiting me in the U.S., but nothing else. especially not looking forward to driving in a car, using a computer every day, neat schedules, sleeping in a bed on my own, using lamplight instead of moonlight to brush my teeth. mostly, just thinking myself the luckiest girl in the world for the small surprises God has given me here each day- and for the frustrations and tears too. feeling i've accomplished nothing externally, everything internally, and that is all that matters. tumaini langu ni kurudi huku Tanzania na kukaa muda mrefu.

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